Ashley Tells All || I got laid off.

I have been in a season of STRUGGLE. Let me tell you more and give you a timeline...

August 17th, 2019

In the middle of August 2019 God told me it was time. I was excited to finally make the leap and leave my full time job- find something part time and work my business FULL TIME. It has been 4 months since that "decision."

Here is what has actually transpired....

Instead I stayed at my full time job. Keep in mind I had a gift right in front of me. Being graciously handed to me! The opportunity and all the support to QUIT my 9-5 job and work for ME! Out of fear of failure, fear of not earning my own paycheck that met my standards right away, fear of the unknown and fear of ... well... not being good enough- I stayed. There was probably deep down inside somewhere the fear of how hard I would have to work to gain my own success. I have decided that a lot of this fear comes to "what I know".. meaning- I have always been use to someone setting the rules for me and holding me accountable. You guys... holding YOURSELF accountable is hard!!!! I have always worked better with someone providing structure and consistency for me- never have I been in a place of doing it for myself, full time. Working 9-5 was easy for me. It's easy to have someone decide your every move eight hours a day, five days a week. But I have always wanted more.. but I still stayed.

October 16, 2019

Two months later... I get laid off from my 9-5 full time job. I can't say I didn't see this coming.. because I did. Myself and eight to nine other colleagues said goodbye to our jobs. This was like a punch to the gut in the moment but also everything I had been wanting, to leave and pursue my dreams. Funny enough..God was no longer giving me a choice. He pushed me.

November 20th, 2019

Here I am. A month later and am now in the position and have the time freedom I have been dreaming about for years. I have been failing though. Which I know is okay but really failing at many things: 

holding myself accountable

using my time wisely

being productive

working my business

consistency

SHOWING UP 

Why am I telling you this?

Y'ALL! I'm telling you this story because showing up for yourself in my book is sometimes the hardest action to take! It should be the first and most important step you take. Every. Single. Day. It's also so easy to envy someone you see on social media. You only see what we let you see. Everyone has struggles. We are all human. We have to give ourselves some patience and not be so hard on ourselves and everyone else around us. 

So it's time to stop sulking and show up (talking to myself)! I have been taking these gifts I have been given for granted. Don't do the same. 

It's party time.

I want a life that is different. Don't you? I realize that to be successful I have to work harder then I ever have before. Rachel Hollis said it best: 

"People do not procrastinate because they are not capable, they procrastinate because they know how hard it's going to be and what that level of success is going to take. They tell themselves that they need more research, more time, more help, more rest before they can make a go at it. Be honest... You're not resting! You're HIDING from your potential."

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Support each other, show up for each other. Show up for yourself.

Ashley