Trust In Him { Haiti }

It has been almost two weeks that we returned home from Haiti. 

I have been asking God "what do I need/want people to know?" 

God answered "EVERYTHING." 

I have had eleven days to talk to God about "everything." 

So here it goes.....

Mark 4:39-41 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

As we flew into Haiti my thoughts were that I was going to see so much sadness and need. I did. Pain, sorrow, poor, and what I thought looked like brokenness. 

But here's what I also witnessed. 

Jesus! He was everywhere.

Every morning we would wake up and go on prayer walks. Every afternoon we would visit the orphanage or host a vacation bible study and every night we would join in with each other in fellowship and discuss our day, emotions, thoughts, and how AMAZING our gracious God is.

Our first morning; in a group of five with a translator by our side we would set out on God's journey. Our good father did not ease me into this slowly. He showed me the power of his love and faithfulness at the FIRST home we entered. We walk up to a fragile yet put together home and see a man. He's calm, smiling, and seemed to be full of joy. I was completely unaware to what God wanted our eyes to witness inside that door. We are welcomed right in! I was nervous and not sure what to expect. Not sure even what I was supposed to do. He goes behind a curtain and comes back holding a young girl and sets her in a wheelchair. She is FULL of joy, love, life, and laughter. She cannot speak but she doesn't need to for us to know what she is feeling. She has a huge smile on her face and lets out shrieks of pure excitement. We ask about her story. Her father begins to speak and tells us the heartbreak his family had recently endured. In 2010 his family was in the Haiti earthquake. His daughter got trapped underneath the rubble and was hit in the head which resulted in trauma to her brain. The rest of his family walked out with barely a scratch.

As his story was being translated I remember the tears. They were flowing like a river out of my eyes. I couldn't stop. I was all of a sudden HIT with a feeling of extreme sadness for this family and young girl. 

This family’s story does not end with sorrow. It ends with glory.

He continues to tell us something I will never forget. After the earthquake his daughter saw numerous doctors who told him that she would never move again. Permanent brain damage. But we all know that man named Jesus, right?! He looked to Christ to heal his daughter and his family's pain. His daughter was 5 at the time of the earthquake. She is now ten and may not be able to walk, but she can certainly move and express her feelings. She is more mobile than the doctors could have ever imagined. Through Jesus Christ and her family's strong faith this beautiful little girl has come so far and will continue to get stronger. 

We ask if we can pray for her. 

Another missionary is passionately moved by the Holy Spirit and starts praying. We lay our hands softly on God's beautiful child and she is silent. The shrieks of joy go away. I have my eyes closed, water works flooding out, and I’m crouched down resting my hands on her knee. I look up and she is smiling so bright, watching everyone, and she is soaking it all in. It was AMAZING!! I could feel the Holy Spirit all around and inside us. God was oh so present with this young child. He always will be. My tears were no longer from sadness. They were tears of complete happiness. Jesus’s love shined so bright in her. She was a bundle of joy from God to this world. Beautiful, gifted, and so HAPPY.

 Christ had victory with this family. Hearing and seeing the light in her father, his faith, and the fact that he had total certainty that Jesus is the way was overwhelmingly beautiful and more so reassuring that this family was more than okay. 

They were in perfect hands.

Let me remind you, this is one story, one house, on the FIRST day. You can imagine the amount of tears we all shared. We visited so MANY homes and were embraced with so much love and welcoming. Almost everyone knew Jesus in their heart and openly welcomed our prayers and love. God was with us at every single home we walked into. He was there before we even arrived.

Missionary Chelsea & beautiful baby

This next experience was the hardest. All twenty four of us missionaries made a special visit to this home. About five of us at a time entered into a small one room home. Blankets on the floor, not much space at all, a mother, and her three children. One of the children being a new born. The mother wanted prayers for this young one because she has a hernia. Typically this would be a quick and easy surgery but this would cost a lot of money for the family and they did not have the means at this time. As I held her beautiful baby girl the flood gates opened again. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, it was a rush of racing emotions. I just knew at that moment I felt extreme sadness. I didn’t want to let her go. My husband asked to pray for her. It was beautiful, amazing, and encouraging. I was reminded that God was there. I walked out of her home and broke down. I didn’t know what was happening to me at that point. I was so hurt, sad, confused, and extremely frustrated. Undesired feelings! I had my first moment of “why?”… “Why God?” I wanted to fix this problem right then and there, but I felt I couldn’t. My emotions got in the way of understanding that we missionaries were doing exactly what God wanted us to do for this baby. We do all these things in his name. We are his hands and feet.

But I let the enemy creep in.

 I longed for peace but felt I had been compromised. Feeling shattered; I cried all the way back to our host house and didn’t speak to anyone. When we got there I broke down. I was reminded by a leader that I can’t let it control me. I need to return to the word of God and replenish my spirit and soul with his truths. I opened my bible and was led to this:

Isaiah 55:8-9

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my way ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I replenished my soul with God’s TRUTH. His love and promise to us.

Matthew 40:29-31

He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired; and young men with fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

I will never know or understand “why” all the time. I was reminded with both of these experiences to trust in him, bring my faith and eyes back to him at every moment of weakness and sorrow. He knows the bigger picture and sometimes it is not for us to understand or even have the ability to comprehend this amazing God. God laughs at me all the time and constantly reminds me to be still. He is always loving, gracious, and a gentleman. He’s a good, good, father!! By coming back to his love he filled my heart back up with his goodness and faithfulness.

Exodus 14:14 "The LORD will fight for you while you keep still.”

I come to a closing by hopefully encouraging you, or someone you know with this: Things happen, good and bad, beauty and ugly. Sometimes it is not for us to understand. You can try, try, and continue to TRY and end up frustrated. Remember that God knows the bigger picture. Trust in him and lean not on your own understanding. He will make your paths straight. I continue to remind myself every day that when we fill our souls and spirits up with his truth and love we are able to share his good word, the news, Jesus is here! Be obedient always. You never know what journey God will take you on. He will change your heart and take you over mountains you NEVER thought you could climb. Enjoy God’s journey for you. As you are reading you have probably noticed and experienced that his journey is not always easy. Thankfully we have his truth, light, and THE WAY!!

I don’t know WHY I am supposed to share everything with you about this mission. I am thankful he has given me the opportunity to do so. Enjoy these posts and I will continue to blog about our Haiti mission until I have nothing left to tell you! I will listen to God and do exactly what he says because he knows the way for me and for YOU. He has proven himself faithful time and time again. As I am processing my feelings about Haiti and sharing the wonderful stories with you; I’m listening to the Caribbean waves come up the shore and crash into the rocks. It’s strong but gentle at the same time. The ocean waves remind me of how strong Jesus loves you. No matter what. He can be very forward at times and you may feel uncomfortable but trust in him. He brings you calmness, peace and hope. I love listening to the ocean. There is so much to hear. Open your ears to God. Sometimes you only need to listen…

Psalm 62:5-6 Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.